‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1 Finale: A Timemaster is Never Late!

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Spoilers everywhere!

Well, now. Given the events of the previous episode, particularly what happened to our beloved Snart, Captain Hunter has decided to take all our Legends home, back to 2016. The thing is, it’s May 2016, not January, when they officially left the first time. And once again, Captain Hunter has taken it upon himself to what he believes just has to be the right thing, without consulting anyone else on the team, and our Legends are understandably upset.

Those of us who keep up with all the CW DC shows (Arrow, Flash, and, soon, Supergirl) remember that the Black Canary left us recently. Sara didn’t know that though, and she is justifiably devastated. Meanwhile, Rory is trying to go back to his old life with a new partner, and of course that isn’t working, either. Ray coming to save Rory and become his new partner is one of the most unlikely things to happen in this universe, but then again, perhaps not. Harken back to the Russian gulag episode, and we see a strange understanding begin to develop between “Haircut,” as Rory calls Ray, and Heatwave. Stein and his wife are trying to rebuild and of course our silver fox is restless, and Jax just can’t let the mission to stop Vandal Savage die, either. If nothing else, Carter and Kendra still need to be saved; bring the Waverider back here, right now!

So where, or rather when and where, the hell is Kendra anyway? Someplace called Saint Lo, France, in 1944, apparently. Some helmeted skullduggery (how did she know how to do that again?) allows our hunting Legends to figure out the answer to both questions, and off the ship goes to catch our wayward Hawk folk!

Okie doke, so now it’s time for some background, if you haven’t been paying attention to the major background plots of Legends of Tomorrow. Way back when, in ancient Egyptian times when all this stuff with Savage and our Hawk folk popped off, the Thanagarians sent three meteorites with alien technology to earth. Combined with the blood of Carter and Kendra, Savage is going to take these three meteorites he’s been chasing all over time and literally re-write time itself, according to his wishes. The Thanagarians and the Hawk people have a long and rich history in the DC-verse, so introducing this depth of a storyline is actually quite cool.

Sara Lance is perhaps the finest female character on the show, and to see her literally begging Captain Hunter to go back and save her sister is truly heartbreaking. Why can’t Hunter go back just a few measly months and help Sara save Laurel? Some muckity-muck about timelines and alternate multiple deaths, which is kind of the show’s way of saying, “Her death is now canon in the Arrow-verse and there really isn’t anything we can do about it.” I had kind of hoped for a better thought-out explanation, but hey, we recall along with Sara that Laurel was the one who convinced Sara to go serve and save as the White Canary, so perhaps that’s the encouragement she needs to never, ever give up fighting.

Dude, lookit, we now have a plan! Three plans, to be precise. Somehow, yet another thing that wasn’t explained too clearly, but who cares: Vandal Savage is able to be three places at once, crossing his own timeline. (I bet Sam Beckett could tell Savage that was never a good idea.) And he’s after the three Thanagarian meteorites, armed with Hawk folk blood, for the timeline re-write ritual too! In 1958, according to Stein, there was a rare alignment of the Earth with Thanagar, so, of course, one Savage will be there/then. The ATOM and Heatwave are waiting in hiding for their turn to heat things up! St. Roch in 2021 finds current-Savage with Kendra, preparing for the ritual, while Captain Hunter and a newly-resolved and becostumed Carter anxiously await much asskickery! And in Norway in 1975, while Sara is dealing with thugs and a nuclear bomb, Jax and Stein wait to take people out as Firestorm!

This really is the ultimate climax scene of the entire season of Legends of Tomorrow, where, in unlikely pairs, our Legends all simultaneously take out a different Vandal Savage and stop alien armageddon! Kendra bursts her bonds with a mighty flap of her wings as Carter is downed and sets upon Vandal Savage with the fury of four thousand years of deaths, persecution, and lies! Sara Lance in her leather whites besets another Vandal Savage with the quip, “A Timemaster is never late,” and proceeds to kick his ass up, down, and sideways! Wait, did she just say that, about herself? Ooh. Layers. The ATOM is dealing with flying monkey monsters while Heatwave just puts the beatdown on the man who caused the death of his beloved partner, the other half of his sundered soul, we miss you already Leonard Snart. A savage neck-snap, a pillar of fire, and an intimate stab through the heart later, and the changed timeline bubble-ripples across the land, as Rip Hunter finally gets his revenge. But it’s not over yet!

Still got to deal with those damned meteorites, right? The ATOM shrinks one of em, no problem there. Firestorm freaking vaporizes another one, and with the help of the AI ship, all our Legends are back together for the final ball of destruction. But these other methods aren’t working anymore, so once again the Captain takes it upon himself to grab the death-ball with the Waverider and fly it into the sun! Of course this means the death of Captain Rip Hunter, the AI Gideon, and the ship Waverider, and we simply cannot have that. It’s time for some final soul-searching, for forgiveness, and ultimately, for some real responsibility taken for all these actions in the shows previous episodes. Leave it to the AI to say, “I’m not ready to die.”

Since the Chronoflow was pretty much destroyed, the Oculus doesn’t help any more, either. The Timemasters scattered to the winds and there’s no real police force against Vandal Savage (or any other DC villains) messing with the timelines; that is the new job of Captain Hunter and our Legends! Sara at Laurel’s graveside remembers her dear sister and takes on the new mission in her name. Stein gets a loving but firm push out the door from his wife, and Jax, because Firestorm is truly meant for changing things for the better. Poor Rory takes a farewell jaunt back to Central City in 2013, and — aw, my heart is melting — he went to meet Snart one last time. This is what we call a loving full-circle coming around, as Rory stumbles about telling Snart he’s a hero, the best guy Rory ever knew. We all saw Snart struggle and resist the heroic ideal while part of the crew of the Waverider, and yet he truly became one somehow, perhaps because he knew it was important. Not to the universe, or even to the other Legends, but to his best friend, the guy who had his back from when they were pickpocket-y pre-teens, his partner, his brother: Mick Rory.

So now, we’re finally back where we began, the team gathered in Star City, preparing to go off on the Waverider with Captain Rip Hunter! Well, everyone but Carter and Kendra, who want to make a go at a “normal life.” Being reincarnated Hawk peoples might make that kind of difficult, you just know they’ll show up again in season two. But wait! It’s another Waverider, piloted by — holy shit, it’s Rex Tyler, a member of the Justice Society of America!

Legends of Tomorrow has never shied away from bringing in relatively obscure but beloved DC characters, and this drop of Patrick J. Adams as Rex Tyler, also known as Hourman in the DC-verse, is no exception. There was Connor Hawke, a legacy of Green Arrow; world-destroyer Per Degaton; son of Deathstroke, called Ravager in the comics; even the redoubtable cowboy of the DC world, Jonah Hex. But this finale episode really stuck it to us eternal fans in the best way possible, by introducing the Justice Society of America for season two!

I enjoyed this series way more than I ever thought I would, and hope you-all have enjoyed running through it with me and fellow Agent Nur Hussein. While, yes, there may be some issues in translating the time travel twisty funnery to the audience in a believable way, that’s honestly not really what we’re here for. These characters and their enduring story of personal drama, idealistic morals and epic ass-kickery in the face of pure evil ensures that they really are legendary. We can’t wait to see what season two brings!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E14: So, That’s Why it’s Called the Vanishing Point

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Flying Spoilers a-comin!

Way back in the very beginning of all this nonsense, Savage (before he was called that) did actually manage to capture Rip Hunter. Despite a few conversations with our Captain languishing in his Egyptian prison cell, he did manage to escape and damn it, Savage wants to know how Khalib did it!

Meanwhile aboard the Waverider, the thieving twins and their assassin gal pal all think we should just kill Savage already, never mind what happens to future-Carter’s somewhat scrambled brains afterwards. But the readouts from the Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robot battle of the previous episode tells our Legends that Vandal Savage really has been using all sorts of time tech and know-how that should, finally, get the Timemaster Council to deal with him once and for all!

Thing is, getting to the Vanishing Point, where the Timemasters are, is problematic. The ship was damaged in the previous episode and of course Captain Hunter’s impatience and selfishness ends up costing Jax his health and safety. Jax is aging at an accelerated rate after being dosed to hell and gone with time radiation, and there really isn’t anything anyone can do. Jax is stuck in the med bay, subconsciously recalling when he left to go on this mission, he was roofied and never got to say goodbye to his mother, which obviously bothers him.

Inevitably, every last Legend just has to go and talk to Vandal Savage personally, engaging in all sorts of mental sword-fighting with what is supposed to be their ultimate enemy. The manner in which he greets Sarah in particular, asking if she had heard from her sister Laurel lately, only managed to severely piss us Arrow fans off and remind us, oh yeah, this guy’s a total villain.

Kendra, accompanied by a rather dour Ray, is attempting to jog future-Carter’s memory and having zero luck. Why Ray thought demanding the answer from Vandal Savage on how to fix Carter would work, I have no idea. For all that Ray is a scientist, inventor, and genius, he’s still an awk-nerd fanboy, rather clueless about relationships and their long-reaching issues. Savage attempts to explain to Ray that they’re the same, at least when it comes to Kendra, because Vandal loved her and was together with her a long long time ago; it was fated. And though Ray truly wants to help Kendra, finding her speaking that ancient love Egyptian love poem to Carter to thump his head, seems to really bother him, too.

Of course, now Snart and Rory want to get off this ride, taking the jump ship and its one single pre-programmed jump back to 2016. Sara, on the other hand, never runs from a fight, even one she didn’t start, and we’re treated to a lovely goodbye scene with Nyssa Al Ghul as Sara remembers her last cleanups before embarking on this mission. Silverfox Stein thinks he can talk Savage into helping our Legends and Jax in particular somehow, only to be reminded that he’s the Enemy, sure, but he’s also very clever. So, Grandpa Jax gets roofied ah-gain and sent off on the jump ship back to 2016 all on his lonesome. And a sad Stein remembers the few bittersweet moments with his beloved wife Clarissa before he left on this insane mission, too.

Really, Ray? Really? We’re going to engage in raging fisticuffs with an effectively immortal tyrant, and we wonder how the hell Savage manages to escape. I do love how, as Rory and Ray are heading off to recapture the villain, Rory drawls, “If we live through this, you bumbling idiot, I might just kill you.”

Stein and Sara have been tasked with getting the ship flying again, which, between the former Space Ranger-turned-engineer and the effective hand of the League of Assassins, now navigator, seems actually possible. Sara can make the tough calls in extreme situations, as Rip points out, and no one can argue with that. Love you forever, Sara Lance.

So Rory and Snart, Ray and Kendra are all fighting Savage and Carter all at the same time, while the Captain and his Engineer and Navigator steer the ship with all they’ve got! Rip has to run off to martyr himself, leaving Sara to actually pilot the Waverider, and hot damn if she doesn’t do an excellent job! Is there anything that can pop the lock on the brainwashing Savage has done to Carter? Turns out, seeing his beloved potentially fated Hawkgirl almost slain by the hand of Vandal Savage is enough to make Carter sprout wings like the most badass avian hybrid ever and swoop in for the kill! Or rather, the knockout.

So we’ve actually made it to the Vanishing Point, more or less intact. But there’s still time for one last epic betrayal, and the whole of time and space may pay the price! There is one more episode before the phenomenal season finale, so it’s entirely possible that there’s way more badass villainy to deal with than just Vandal Savage. And that’s how our beloved characters become truly Legends!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E10 : Teach Your Children Well

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

All the Spoilers!

When we last left our intrepid Legends, things had gotten all shook up! The real identity of Chronos has been revealed, Rory is back aboard the Waverider, and the next time jump is intended for the future!

The Kasnian Conglomerate is the main corporation in charge of things here in the future, where we’re now attempting to hunt down Vandal Savage at a stockholders meeting approximately five years before the destruction of Captain Hunter’s future world. After some adorable sleight of eye, our Legends get an earful of the untenable situation for those outside the Kasnian borders, living in squalor and misery as they are. Predictably, Vandal Savage, who is sitting at the stockholders’ table, is all in favor of a culling, which is exactly what it sounds like. He’s also a tutor to Per Degaton, son of his main opposition on the council, the kid Captain Hunter equates to the Adolf Hitler of his own time. This information leads to a very frank discussion around the planning table, bringing up one of the great philosophical questions of any generation: If you had a time machine, would you go back and kill Adolf Hitler? Or the LoT equivalent, which, in this case, means killing Per Degaton.

Everyone on the team has an opinion about this plan, ranging from outraged at infanticide to the “I volunteer as tribute already,” drawl of Snart. So, instead, our well-meaning heroes graduate from infanticide to child abduction, thinking this is somehow better, and figuring they’ll decide what to do with Little Lord Fauntleroy after they’ve nabbed him. The team’s actual method of kidnapping the mini-goose-stepper are fairly clever and fun.

Meanwhile, Ray and Stein and Jax have all gone to check out the robotics department of the place that made the autonomous robots based on Palmer’s A.T.O.M. design. What do they find? A very merry sci-fi alum, in the form of Jewel Staite as Doctor Rachel Turner, purportedly the great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Palmer himself. So yes, Ray gets to have his own internal mini-crisis, at the idea that his ghosted girlfriend back in 2016, who never got a name mind you, potentially had his child. And, you know, that his family would be responsible for the bots Savage uses in the future in his massive despotic takeover.

Elsewhere, Kendra is dealing with visions of her past lives, in particular the life with Carter that led to the birth of the Boardmans and their son. The flashback scenes are in sepia Oz-style tones, which is fine, I suppose, but I’d like to see some other lives, too. How about a Victorian Hawkgirl, or a Renaissance Hawkman? Well, the idea they seem to be trying to get across is that, in this particular life, Kendra will make her own choices, and right now, she chooses Ray. For a while, anyway.

Also in the midst of this funnery, people are visiting the clear cage Rory is being kept in, each speaking with him in their own way, from their own point of view. Sarah’s scene in particular, how she speaks so bluntly from a position of absolute calm and without any fear, about the bond between Rory and Snart, is a gorgeous little piece of writing. Only Sarah could somehow get Snart to finally go to his adopted brother, his partner, the heat to his cold, honestly the other part of his soul. So much for being a soulless League of Assassins killer; we heart you Sarah.

So, Captain Hunter is off with mini-Hitler in tow, to learn once again the simple lesson that we’re supposed to be a team, and you really shouldn’t be trying to do these time-changing moments alone. Because, hey, Savage and the future-time military police are headed for our Legends, to steal back Per Degaton at any cost! Time for lots of fighting, some harsh Palmer family truths, and a final exchange of he-who-could-become-Hitler and Sarah with the enemy!

None of this sits well with Captain Hunter, especially since the current-future timeline shows Per Degaton taking out his competition and Savage’s rise to sudden power. Ray and Kendra have come to an understanding and that’s fine, for now. The best part of the last segment is the fight between Rory and Snart, where the two of them finally hash it all out with their fists, after which a healthy serving of nasty truth is served up to the entire team, and a new mission of sorts is given: run.

Next episode, our Legends are headed to the Old West and the introduction of another epic DC character, Jonah Hex!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

XXX

‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E8: Tyrants Make the Best Tuna Casserole

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Spoilers ahead!

In a small town called Harmony Falls in 1958, four teenagers race their hot rods down a deserted forest road, as 1950s teens are wont to do, at least according to pop culture. After one of their cars crash, they happen to come across a mysterious glowing meteor; and Vandal Savage right beside it!

And, thus, we join our team of plucky heroes, now without Mick Rory, arriving in 1958. We aren’t shown Rory’s fate from the previous episode, we are meant to think Snart killed him, so the team is somewhat upset by this. However, their goal is finding Savage, whom their intel predicts is in the neighborhood. They put together an undercover team, consisting of a pretend-married couple of Ray and Kendra, who actually have a budding relationship going on.

Ray and Kendra rent a house in town, and their (fake) marriage front starts offending the bigoted small town residents who don’t like the idea of an interracial couple. As a cover, it’s pretty terrible; they draw attention to themselves and Savage would recognize Kendra the minute he saw her, so I’m not sure who thought that would be a good idea. And, by sheer coincidence, Savage lives just across the road from their new rented home, and even brings a housewarming gift of tuna casserole. Awkward. Does Savage recognize Kendra? He isn’t really letting on, and they continue their little charades.

Meanwhile, Jax, Stein, and Sara go about town to investigate the murders and disapperances of locals. Stein and Sara go undercover in a mental hospital as a doctor and a nurse, while Jax plays a new kid in town. Before long, in another totally unconvincing coincidence, they happen across one of the racing teens from the cold open. She is the girlfriend of the boy whose car crashed. Jax decides to flirt with her, a white girl, and raises more eyebrows in the small town.

Snart and Hunter also go undercover in town, dressed as government spooks, asking local law enforcement for the case files on local missing people. Their efforts all lead to Vandal Savage; he works at the mental hospital Stein and Sara had infiltrated, performing experiments on the inmates in a mysterious wing. The experiments turn out to be people who have been turned into bird monsters, using the power of the meteorite. The monsters are genuinely creepy, and this part of the episode plays out very well, thanks in part to this installment being directed by Joe Dante of Gremlins fame.

It all leads to yet another failed showdown with Savage in the end, since you can’t kill the big bad without ending the series. Throughout the episode, we are presented with ’50s small town America through the eyes of our heroes, who have 2016 sensibilities. There is a small subplot of Sara and one of the female nurses in the hospital falling for each other, and this was a no-no back in 1958. The episode often not-too-subtly addresses the sexism, racism, and homophobia of the era, providing a commentary on how far we’ve come (and yet, these problems still persist today).

Although they fail to kill Savage, our heroes did learn a thing or two about teamwork and about themselves. That cliffhanger at the end though, will half the team be stranded in 1958? We await next week’s episode to find out!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E7: What the Hell Is a Time Pirate?

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Here we are, a-floatin’ through space, trying to figure out when to go after Vandal Savage next, but needing a serious software update to the shipboard A.I., Gideon, in order to manage that. Captain Hunter is torturing himself with holographic visions of his past, while our Legends are going stir crazy. Rory and Snart are still sniping at each other over the events of the previous episode, Ray and Kendra are tippy-toeing around romantic entanglement, and everyone else is just really bored. Then comes a distress call from Captain Baxter of the Timeship Acheron, and our Legends are off to save the day!

We have to remember that Professor Stein is the manchild nerd for the sci-fi geek in all of us, and really, the Waverider hasn’t really gone through space yet: Only timestreams. So, while Stein waxes poetic about the stars and his time as a Space Ranger when he was a wee boy, we’re treated to further memories of Rip Hunter’s time at the Timemasters academy, where he trains with a love interest and fellow student, Miranda Koburn. It’s so cute how Rip responds to being overshadowed in the training simulation by his female counterpart with something like, “You beat me – that’s so hot,” and a makeout session that sadly, gets them into trouble. Timemaster romance of any kind is rather harshly discouraged, and young Rip and his Lady are about to be the equivalent of court-martialed.

Meanwhile back in the really-real world, the boarding party that went to check out the Acheron has been overrun with — say it with me — space pirates! Or rather, as Captain Hunter calls them, Time Pirates, led by Captain Valler (Callum Keith Rennie). Many of us did wonder, as we were watching the episode, how does a pirate plunder time? Are there tachyons to be stolen? Well, anyway, our Legends are here in space being harried by Time Pirates, which inevitably opens the cargo bay doors for every single last classic Sci-fi reference you can think of! Star Wars, of course, Jax probably got the best line for that one; Ray as Captain Palmer is so much better as a Sulu reference rather than trying to Shatner his way through Star Trek; the green lighting on the Acheron makes us think of the excellent atmosphere in Ridley Scott’s original Alien; Stein talked about being a Space Ranger when he was a kid, DC just broke the fourth wall; there’s even a cry of “Great Scott!” and we all know what beloved time travel epic that’s from! The commands, “Imperiex,” and “Kanjar Ro” are also names of space-based DC comics villains, just FYI. And it has to be included, Captain Hunter running around fighting time pirates in that coat reminded me very much of Captain Jack Harkness, doing his epic thing in Torchwood!

Much emphasis is placed on the deteriorating relationship between Rory and Snart, especially when Rory decides he’s had enough and attempts to make a deal with the Time Pirates. Snart has a few beautiful moments with Sara, first while they play cards to alleviate boredom and she has some almost-sympathy for the dwindling brotherhood, and then later when they’re both freezing to death (because nature’s vacuum runs on irony) and they exchange what death is really like and how Mick and Leonard met. The assassin and the thief, we adore them both and the show seems to have them swimming towards true friendship, if not an actual romance. I’m voting for a romance, even if it’s brief, because just imagine the shockwave reverberations through all the Legends once it’s over!

Eventually — we knew it was coming — our Legends overcame the Time Pirates, repaired both the Acheron and the Waverider, cleared Captain Hunter’s name as far as the snooty Timemasters reputation fuckery goes, and now we have to deal with internal issues. Our resident firebug, Heatwave, has just gone too far into the darkness, and our Legends meet around the table to discuss what to do now. Snart says he will handle it, and even makes an actual go at it, but can he really take out the sundered other half of his soul? As much emphasis as the show placed on love no matter what, I kind of doubt it. The preview for next week’s episode shows a few of our Legends off chasing Vandal Savage in 1950s Oregon and Kendra in an actual poodle skirt, so let’s pray for visions of a greaser Heatwave, or at least a Rory on ice for now!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E5: Not our First Prison Break

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

When we last left our intrepid time-hopping Legends, fully half the team was either incapacitated or captured in a – what else? It’s 1986 – maximum-security Russian gulag. Our resident silverfox Professor Stein is being held for extra-special treatment, because the bad guys have figured out he could make a Russian Firestorm way way earlier than such a thing should be possible. Rory and Ray have been tossed into gulag gen-pop together, and the crew of the Waverider are working on how to bust them all out!

Well, mostly. Snart claims to be generally only interested in getting his partner back, which makes it odd when he very easily figures out that Captain Hunter ordered our assassin Sarah to take Stein out if it looks like rescue isn’t an option, and he has a rather surprisingly adverse reaction to the idea. Though of course the proposed plans give Snart the chance to smirk, “Not my first prison break,” to Rip, and all of us in the know have to grin. No-one seems particularly interested in rescuing the lone boy scout of the team, and indeed, Ray gets himself a good old fashioned beat-down in the gulag yard when he just can’t seem to shut his mouth, while Rory is over there fascinated by a Zippo he stole and not doing a damned thing to help. Rip also completely vetoes recovering Jax and Kendra’s offer to help, at least on the scout mission to the Bratva, the Russian mafia underground.

This episode’s scenes with Ray were particularly hard to watch, not necessarily because he takes several hard-core beatings, but because of why he does it. The first beat-down in the yard, well that was just your standard Russian cold-war welcome. But later, when it’s all gone to hell and Ray and Rory have been brought out for glorious electrical torture to goad Stein into giving up his Firestorm secrets to Vandal Savage and the crazy Russian lady scientist, Vostok, Ray’s deadly boy scout instincts kick in and he purposefully turns all attention to himself. While it’s true that as soon as they can get Ray to the Waverider his injuries can be healed quite easily, that says nothing for the here and now and those busted ribs, blackened eyes, and weeping cuts. What we see here is the run of being Superman that Brandon Routh just can’t seem to escape, the one who heroically takes it all upon himself because he just can’t stand to see others he cares about harmed. And it takes that kind of selflessness to get Heatwave, the criminal Rory who uses his S.T.A.R. labs firegun to mow down good and bad guys alike while he steals things, to go back for Ray when the rescue attempt is made.

So, the rescue attempt has degenerated into a prison riot, as often happens, and at the same time that crazy Russian chick and the Prof have melted together in the hottest forced not-sex you’ll ever see! Captain Hunter and Vandal Savage have had their posturing moment, and Jax and Kendra have decided to get in on the rescue mission regardless of what the Captain says! The small moments of humanity from our assassin Sarah, goaded on by our less-criminal-than-previously-thought Snart, are beautiful and show the team coming together despite their clear differences. And that’s how, working together once again, our Legends have made it back to the Waverider more or less whole, to jump through time while being chased by Chronos yet again!

Spoiler, Spoiler, Spoil-ers!

But wait! There’s totes more. Our Legends managed a landing despite Chronos’ best efforts, and here we are in Star City! Sort of. Star City in 2046, apparently, rather remarkably different. And of course there’s a guy in those iconic forest green leathers with a bow! But that’s not Oliver Queen. No, my fellow archer fan-atics, it’s Connor Hawke! Drool with me.

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E4: Hot Pursuit in a Cold War

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Spoilers ahead!

Our heroes have jumped through time yet again, this time to 1986. The information they need to find Vandal Savage lies in the Pentagon, which they must break into to recover. They fabricate disguises for the team, and with some clever keycard (and wallet) swiping from Snart, Sara and Kendra attempt to sneak into the records room while Rory provides a distraction in the form of an arm-wrestling match — which seems unconvincing as a distraction really; I’d imagine the Pentagon isn’t like an army barracks with everyone off-duty. Firestorm was supposed to cut the power to let Sara and Kendra escape, but after he screws up, the alarms are triggered and the ladies have to karate their way out, as usual. However, Kendra goes full winged-psycho, murder-angel and tries to rip off a man’s face. Firestorm pulls her away and flies back to the ship, and the others retreat as well.

Back on the ship, the team fights … again. Professor Stein blames Jax, and Sara blames Kendra, saying, “Everything would’ve been fine if big bird over here hadn’t freaked out.” Captain Hunter tries to control his team like a stressed-out high school principal who’s sick of his job. The team, as usual, isn’t functioning very well, yet. I laughed at “big bird” though. I like Sara. She’s funny.

The good news is, they did get the file they needed, and the intel points to the Soviet Union; Vandal Savage is building a weapon there. Using their timeship to fly unseen to the USSR, Captain Hunter finds that he is being tracked by Chronos in another invisible timeship. After a very fun aerial battle which involves cloaking tricks, a Soviet MIG-21, and a Top Gun quote, Captain Hunter loses his pursuers, but crash lands the ship. Miraculously, the ship survives, as well as its entire crew. The Pentagon file on Savage indicates that he’s working on a “Project Svarog,” and employs a Soviet scientist named Valentina Vostok to build his weapon. The intelligence file on Vostok shows she’s a fan of the ballet; Snart and Ray try to charm their way into getting information on where she works from her by intercepting her at a show. Although Ray tries his best to get acquainted with Vostok, it’s Snart who manages to steal her attention (and her keycard, along with her wallet).

Meanwhile, Captain Hunter finds that he hasn’t lost the Time Masters after all, and they offer him a deal of amnesty … or do they? There’s a side plot where Captain Hunter and the gang meet the Time Masters in the woods, and Hunter contemplates just giving up his quest. Luckily, it turns out pretty quickly to be a bogus offer, and they have a showdown with the Time Masters. They succeed in escaping, but Jax is injured in the battle. Jax recovers in the med bay while Sara and Kendra train fighting each other to control their violent impulses. The rest of the gang focus on the mission: to break into Vostok’s lab and find out what they’re working on. Snart, Rory, Ray, and Professor Stein sneak inside using Vostok’s keycard, and find that Vandal Savage is trying to recreate the technology used by Professor Stein to create Firestorm. Since Jax is sitting out the mission, it is up to Professor Stein to steal the technology before the Soviets can make a breakthrough. However, it all goes wrong yet again, as Professor Stein, Ray, and Rory are taken captive and only Snart escapes, albeit with the tech.

The episode ends with Stein thrown into a gulag, and forced to complete the research while the others are being kept alive as leverage. What will Captain Hunter and the rest of the team do to rescue them? Find out next week, as this week ends with a cliffhanger!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E3: Changing Your own Fate is Hard

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Thar be spoilers ahead!

When we last left our legendary heroes, the team had suffered a defeat and a major loss, and they were stuck in 1975. Everyone is trying to convince Captain Hunter of their various ideas, to which our beloved Rip replies they know nothing about time travel consequences, citing that he’s seen darker days, where “men of steel die and dark knights fall.” The entire show, and the audience, pauses for a breath and our hearts swell with the knowledge that Captain Hunter just referred to the Justice League! Epic squee! Ahem, moving on.

After a teensy bit of convincing, the team scatters into smaller groups on separate missions: Rip and Sarah are going after Vandal Savage’s money, Ray and Dr. Stein are trying to save Kendra from dagger fragments left in her bloodstream, and the criminal twins have convinced Jax to steal the jump ship and go off to do a jewelry heist! What could possibly go wrong? Well…

Starting off with the wraparound story of still going after Vandal Savage (isn’t that the idea here?), Sarah and Rip head for the big bad bank where purportedly Savage hides his money. Sarah, as we’re reminded, is an inductee of the Lazarus Pit, meaning she died and was brought back to life with some serious consequences: the monstrous need to kill. So, finding themselves fighting Savage mercenaries and trained killers inside the bank is no problem for Sarah, other than, ya know, the whole bloodlust killing people thing. Captain Hunter has more of a problem with such a thing, which is rather ironic, as Sarah points out.

Meanwhile, Jax is reading the instruction manual on how to fix the Waverider, happily nosing around the smaller jump ship and learning how to fly it, when Snart and Rory show up. Snart wants to go out to Central City and steal a giant emerald, and it doesn’t take much convincing at all for them to go off all kinds of half-cocked!

The thing that’s so extra great about Snart and Rory in this episode is that they both demonstrate that there is quite a bit going on below the surface. Snart may be the brains of their partnership, but Rory is far from actually stupid, or thick, as Rip calls him. There’s an extra-epic scene where the criminal pals come in to save the day and Rory takes in Sarah’s ballroom dress, proclaiming he didn’t have her pegged for the “Eyes Wide Shut type.” And that reference, to Stanley Kubrick’s last and highly controversial film, is actually more highbrow than anyone would have guessed, for Rory. Dominic Purcell’s muscles-upon-muscles physique and Rockbiter-eating-rocks voice notwithstanding, I like the idea that Heatwave can actually hold his own for at least a scene or two. And, oh my, Wentworth Miller as Captain Cold and Leonard Snart is my current favorite of the epic eight, or rather, seven, now that we’re down a winged companion and all. His bemused drawl, eternal sarcastic expressions and even those glimpses of good-guy-ness are marvelous, and amongst all of them, Snart still gets the best one-liners. So far.

Which actually leads us into the whole reason for the jewelry heist thing: Snart didn’t have the greatest childhood, as I’m sure we’ve all kind of guessed. When Snart was five, his father went to prison for attempting a jewelry heist of a giant emerald, and came back an abuser that ruined the lives of his wife and small children. Can you guess where Snart is going with this? Change your fate. The trouble with that idea is, that whole nature-abhors-a-vacuum thing, and the universe tends to have its own circular plans for your fate. Just ask Captain Hunter, he knew damned well that wasn’t going to work.

After mostly failing the first attempt to save Kendra, Ray had his little crisis of confidence and, buoyed along by Dr. Stein, managed to power through it and save her. The ATOM suit flying through Kendra’s bloodstream blasting knife particles like the ancient video game Asteroid is adorkable, and a happy nod to the potential science nerd in all of us, young or old. Every one of us has moments where we wonder if we really can do the thing, and it’s nice for Ray to have Dr. Stein to say, “Of course you can! Go on, already!”

Meanwhile, the Brumberg bank folk and Vandal Savage’s people are having a big ol’ party! What for, you ask? This thing they’re obscurely referring to as the Vessel, which turns out to be poor Carter’s body, is going to be shared bloodily with the cult followers of Savage, to grant them temporary immortality. What’s a hundred years or so between friends? Our Legends can’t have that! Much ass-kickery in fancy ’70s clothes later, most of the rest of the team show up to battle Savage and his minions yet again. The whole thing more or less ends in a draw: about par for the course. Then it’s time for a very sad double funeral, and everyone has to remind Captain Hunter that they work so much better as a team, which was why he got them together in the first place. And now it’s time to head to the next time Vandal Savage is known to pop up, the 1980s, so grab your parachute pants!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

XXX

‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E1: Make Your own Fate

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Every bit as epic as the previews and lead-ins promised it would be, Legends of Tomorrow is rife with one thing – thoughts of the future. Regardless of whether you happen to be Vandal Savage, psychotic immortal bent on world domination in every incarnation, or Rip Hunter, Timelord of 2166, so concerned about Savage’s world wars and slaughter he goes rogue against the Time Council insistence of non-involvement, all potential futures are in question here. Rip decides to hie himself to 2016 in the stolen Waverider time travelling ship and pick up an elite team he’s chosen for their various skill sets, to go gallivanting through time to kill Savage. Funny thing is, each and every of the chosen eight is kind of stagnating right now in whatever they’re doing and so it’s pretty easy for Rip to pick them off. *deep breath*

The criminal twins, Captain Cold and Heatwave, are pulling off kiddie bank robberies, Ray Palmer as the ATOM is spinning his wheels on mini-jobs for Green Arrow, Sarah, who becomes White Canary, is off drinking in freaking Tibet, Kendra and Carter are still arguing like a thousand-year-old married couple while they practice flying, and the two unlikely fellows that make up Firestorm are still fighting while they attempt to patrol and stop fights.

Fast forward some through fast talking from Rip Hunter and some soul searching from the newly made team, and one roofie job later, we’re off in the time travel ship to 1975 and the one man who knows more about Vandal Savage than anyone, Professor Boardman. The good Professor is full of all sorts of heart-wrenching and spoiler-ific information, but he serves as a distraction when a bounty hunter starts taking pot shots at the cloaked ship. Sarah and the temperature boys are off happily barroom brawling, but everyone chips in and manages to hightail it away from Chronos the bad guy at the last possible second with relatively few casualties.

Now it’s time for a healthy dose of good, old-fashioned, brutal honesty from Captain Hunter, and that leaves our epic eight to ponder what their next move will be – fade into the shadows of relatively safe obscurity, or grab dangerous adventure with both hands and make your own damned fate! It’s no real surprise that everyone decides to stay, for their varied and amusing reasons, and the relief and dawning glory on Rory’s — I mean, Rip’s —  face, is a joy to see as they take off for yet another timeline after Vandal Savage!

I know, there are a lot of apparent parallels between Legends of Tomorrow and Doctor Who. There’s Arthur Darvill as Rip Hunter, he’s a defrocked Timelord, stole an awesome ship and ran away to chase bad guys with companions through time – I get it. But seriously folks, you’re looking at it the wrong way. DC TV is handing us a show from the amazing parentage of Arrow and Flash, done in the style of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Who among us didn’t love Bill and Ted? We grew and our tastes got harder to satisfy with our need for more epic heroes and villains, but DC’s Legends of Tomorrow reminds us to look to our own future and the thought that it’s never too late to change our fate, with our own two hands. Sarah Connor thought that too, and I bet she’d love the hell out of this show.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow is on Thursdays on the CW @ 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

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‘Arrow’-‘Flash’ Crossover 2015: The Light of Tomorrow

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

The final episode aired last night of the awesome two-part crossover between arguably the best DC-TV has to offer right now, Arrow and Flash, as they take on time travel, heartache, and Vandal Savage yet again!

Fully half the episode is devoted to the whole earth-shattering knowledge of Oliver’s son William. Now we knew, way back when the show set up that scene with Ollie’s mom paying Samantha to abscond with her pregnancy, that it would come back later to bite him pretty harshly. I just think it’s such a shame that that will be what likely breaks up Olicity. For a glorious while, the nerdy girl got to have the hottest guy there was to have, and we all enjoyed it vicariously. To see our beloved Olicity go the way of Ollie and Laurel, or hell, even Ollie and Sarah, will be heart-wrenching, not only for our cherished characters, but for those of us watching who loved seeing them together. The writing for Arrow is consistently good in this unpleasant regard: We love these characters, these dark heroes, and we suffer right along with them when they hurt.

Okay so they’re officially not spoilers anymore: We can go on about Kendra being Hawkgirl, the reincarnation of *deep breath* an ancient Egyptian warrior priestess, with her soulmate Prince Khufu, and them-all being hunted by Vandal Savage even from way back then, to increase his power and immortality. Everyone got that? As the dumbfounded members of the gathered-again various squads mutter to each other, we’re back in Indiana Jones territory. Which would be fine, except that tone belongs much more in the Flash-verse. Barry has a bad feeling about the plans to take out Savage once and for all, and they only intensify when he “ghosts” while speeding to a different location. This means, as Barry and Cisco freak out quietly over the knowledge, that at some point soon, Barry will time-travel again. But the only way through is forward, so some members of Team Arrow and some of Flash squad, with a plan in place, go off to confront Savage and the Staff of Horus!

It only takes one small cog in a machine to misfire, to cause the whole empire to fall. In this case, it’s a piece of paper that led to the flaming blanketed death of everyone Barry ever loved. And, as he streams away in red lightning, our speedster is faced with yet more time-traveling, nosebleed-inducing issues. Barry’s messed with timestreams before and it gets him nowhere good, as he tries to explain to Oliver some 24 hours previous, when he returns. We need to rethink everything, but mostly the plan to stop Savage. This time will be different, it has to be, as both teams unite to go to do confrontation battle in the catch-all empty warehouse.

And this time, they actually manage to succeed! We think. We sure hope so. There is no piece of paper, Ollie’s head is mostly in the right place, and as far as we can tell, Vandal Savage is a pile of dust. Kendra found the Hawkgirl within and, after getting a Flash-like communicator specially made from him, says a tearful goodbye to Cisco. Ollie, mindful of Barry’s warnings and wanting to know his son and honor the boy’s mother’s wishes at the same time, visits William but keeps it a secret from Felicity. Say hello to the beginning of the end of that happiness, we pine for you, Olicity. But wait, it’s not over yet!

You mean to tell me, seriously, that all you heroic people and scientists of many stripes left the ashes of an incredibly powerful immortal behind, just sitting there in a pile on the floor? Come on! Malcolm Merlyn never turns down anything he can use, especially a favor from the man he calls “buddy,” as he carefully scoops up the ashes into a container. This quite easily ties into the beginnings of the further adventures of the new show beginning in January, Legends of Tomorrow, where Rip Hunter gathers together a team of heroes and villains to stop, you guessed it, Vandal Savage from destroying the world and time itself!  But that is, as they say, a problem for Tomorrow.

XXX