‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1 Finale: A Timemaster is Never Late!

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Spoilers everywhere!

Well, now. Given the events of the previous episode, particularly what happened to our beloved Snart, Captain Hunter has decided to take all our Legends home, back to 2016. The thing is, it’s May 2016, not January, when they officially left the first time. And once again, Captain Hunter has taken it upon himself to what he believes just has to be the right thing, without consulting anyone else on the team, and our Legends are understandably upset.

Those of us who keep up with all the CW DC shows (Arrow, Flash, and, soon, Supergirl) remember that the Black Canary left us recently. Sara didn’t know that though, and she is justifiably devastated. Meanwhile, Rory is trying to go back to his old life with a new partner, and of course that isn’t working, either. Ray coming to save Rory and become his new partner is one of the most unlikely things to happen in this universe, but then again, perhaps not. Harken back to the Russian gulag episode, and we see a strange understanding begin to develop between “Haircut,” as Rory calls Ray, and Heatwave. Stein and his wife are trying to rebuild and of course our silver fox is restless, and Jax just can’t let the mission to stop Vandal Savage die, either. If nothing else, Carter and Kendra still need to be saved; bring the Waverider back here, right now!

So where, or rather when and where, the hell is Kendra anyway? Someplace called Saint Lo, France, in 1944, apparently. Some helmeted skullduggery (how did she know how to do that again?) allows our hunting Legends to figure out the answer to both questions, and off the ship goes to catch our wayward Hawk folk!

Okie doke, so now it’s time for some background, if you haven’t been paying attention to the major background plots of Legends of Tomorrow. Way back when, in ancient Egyptian times when all this stuff with Savage and our Hawk folk popped off, the Thanagarians sent three meteorites with alien technology to earth. Combined with the blood of Carter and Kendra, Savage is going to take these three meteorites he’s been chasing all over time and literally re-write time itself, according to his wishes. The Thanagarians and the Hawk people have a long and rich history in the DC-verse, so introducing this depth of a storyline is actually quite cool.

Sara Lance is perhaps the finest female character on the show, and to see her literally begging Captain Hunter to go back and save her sister is truly heartbreaking. Why can’t Hunter go back just a few measly months and help Sara save Laurel? Some muckity-muck about timelines and alternate multiple deaths, which is kind of the show’s way of saying, “Her death is now canon in the Arrow-verse and there really isn’t anything we can do about it.” I had kind of hoped for a better thought-out explanation, but hey, we recall along with Sara that Laurel was the one who convinced Sara to go serve and save as the White Canary, so perhaps that’s the encouragement she needs to never, ever give up fighting.

Dude, lookit, we now have a plan! Three plans, to be precise. Somehow, yet another thing that wasn’t explained too clearly, but who cares: Vandal Savage is able to be three places at once, crossing his own timeline. (I bet Sam Beckett could tell Savage that was never a good idea.) And he’s after the three Thanagarian meteorites, armed with Hawk folk blood, for the timeline re-write ritual too! In 1958, according to Stein, there was a rare alignment of the Earth with Thanagar, so, of course, one Savage will be there/then. The ATOM and Heatwave are waiting in hiding for their turn to heat things up! St. Roch in 2021 finds current-Savage with Kendra, preparing for the ritual, while Captain Hunter and a newly-resolved and becostumed Carter anxiously await much asskickery! And in Norway in 1975, while Sara is dealing with thugs and a nuclear bomb, Jax and Stein wait to take people out as Firestorm!

This really is the ultimate climax scene of the entire season of Legends of Tomorrow, where, in unlikely pairs, our Legends all simultaneously take out a different Vandal Savage and stop alien armageddon! Kendra bursts her bonds with a mighty flap of her wings as Carter is downed and sets upon Vandal Savage with the fury of four thousand years of deaths, persecution, and lies! Sara Lance in her leather whites besets another Vandal Savage with the quip, “A Timemaster is never late,” and proceeds to kick his ass up, down, and sideways! Wait, did she just say that, about herself? Ooh. Layers. The ATOM is dealing with flying monkey monsters while Heatwave just puts the beatdown on the man who caused the death of his beloved partner, the other half of his sundered soul, we miss you already Leonard Snart. A savage neck-snap, a pillar of fire, and an intimate stab through the heart later, and the changed timeline bubble-ripples across the land, as Rip Hunter finally gets his revenge. But it’s not over yet!

Still got to deal with those damned meteorites, right? The ATOM shrinks one of em, no problem there. Firestorm freaking vaporizes another one, and with the help of the AI ship, all our Legends are back together for the final ball of destruction. But these other methods aren’t working anymore, so once again the Captain takes it upon himself to grab the death-ball with the Waverider and fly it into the sun! Of course this means the death of Captain Rip Hunter, the AI Gideon, and the ship Waverider, and we simply cannot have that. It’s time for some final soul-searching, for forgiveness, and ultimately, for some real responsibility taken for all these actions in the shows previous episodes. Leave it to the AI to say, “I’m not ready to die.”

Since the Chronoflow was pretty much destroyed, the Oculus doesn’t help any more, either. The Timemasters scattered to the winds and there’s no real police force against Vandal Savage (or any other DC villains) messing with the timelines; that is the new job of Captain Hunter and our Legends! Sara at Laurel’s graveside remembers her dear sister and takes on the new mission in her name. Stein gets a loving but firm push out the door from his wife, and Jax, because Firestorm is truly meant for changing things for the better. Poor Rory takes a farewell jaunt back to Central City in 2013, and — aw, my heart is melting — he went to meet Snart one last time. This is what we call a loving full-circle coming around, as Rory stumbles about telling Snart he’s a hero, the best guy Rory ever knew. We all saw Snart struggle and resist the heroic ideal while part of the crew of the Waverider, and yet he truly became one somehow, perhaps because he knew it was important. Not to the universe, or even to the other Legends, but to his best friend, the guy who had his back from when they were pickpocket-y pre-teens, his partner, his brother: Mick Rory.

So now, we’re finally back where we began, the team gathered in Star City, preparing to go off on the Waverider with Captain Rip Hunter! Well, everyone but Carter and Kendra, who want to make a go at a “normal life.” Being reincarnated Hawk peoples might make that kind of difficult, you just know they’ll show up again in season two. But wait! It’s another Waverider, piloted by — holy shit, it’s Rex Tyler, a member of the Justice Society of America!

Legends of Tomorrow has never shied away from bringing in relatively obscure but beloved DC characters, and this drop of Patrick J. Adams as Rex Tyler, also known as Hourman in the DC-verse, is no exception. There was Connor Hawke, a legacy of Green Arrow; world-destroyer Per Degaton; son of Deathstroke, called Ravager in the comics; even the redoubtable cowboy of the DC world, Jonah Hex. But this finale episode really stuck it to us eternal fans in the best way possible, by introducing the Justice Society of America for season two!

I enjoyed this series way more than I ever thought I would, and hope you-all have enjoyed running through it with me and fellow Agent Nur Hussein. While, yes, there may be some issues in translating the time travel twisty funnery to the audience in a believable way, that’s honestly not really what we’re here for. These characters and their enduring story of personal drama, idealistic morals and epic ass-kickery in the face of pure evil ensures that they really are legendary. We can’t wait to see what season two brings!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E15: The Beginning of the End

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Before the end, we go back to the beginning.

We start with a flashback to when Rip Hunter first attempts to recruit the team back in 2016 … and what happens afterward. Last episode, Professor Stein sent Jax back in time to 2016 to cure his accelerated aging issues, and when he lands, he seeks out the Professor Stein of 2016, who had not left yet. It reminds me a bit of Marty McFly meeting an earlier version of Doc Brown, and like Marty, Jax needs to get back … to the future!

In the future, Rip, Ray, Kendra, Carter, and Rory have been taken prisoner by the Time Masters, who are in league with Vandal Savage himself. Sara and Snart are the only ones who manage to evade capture by hiding in a floor compartment panel of their ship, just like Han Solo. Aboard the Waverider, Sara and Snart ponder what to do, and Snart has a crisis of faith and decides the best bet is to just run and leave the team behind. Sara, however, was having none of it and they have a standoff. Luckily, Gideon intervenes just in time with a plan.

Meanwhile, at the Vanishing Point prison, Rip has been shown a vision of the past and future by the Time Masters, using a device called the Oculus that not only sees the past and future, but lets them control the timestream too. Everything that’s happened so far, including the murder of Rip’s family by Randal Savage, was plotted out in advance by the Time Masters using the Oculus. They needed Savage to unite the world against an invasion from the Thanagarians, a future scenario they see in their digital crystal ball.

Jax, back in 2016, gets Professor Stein to help him jump back to the distant future. Sara and Snart decide to free their captive teammates. They hatch a plan to destroy the Oculus, and regain their free will. In the end, a sacrifice must be made. I won’t tell you how it goes, but it’s one of the most pulse-pounding episodes of the series, so far.

Tonight, we reach the electrifying finale. Don’t miss it!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E14: So, That’s Why it’s Called the Vanishing Point

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Flying Spoilers a-comin!

Way back in the very beginning of all this nonsense, Savage (before he was called that) did actually manage to capture Rip Hunter. Despite a few conversations with our Captain languishing in his Egyptian prison cell, he did manage to escape and damn it, Savage wants to know how Khalib did it!

Meanwhile aboard the Waverider, the thieving twins and their assassin gal pal all think we should just kill Savage already, never mind what happens to future-Carter’s somewhat scrambled brains afterwards. But the readouts from the Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robot battle of the previous episode tells our Legends that Vandal Savage really has been using all sorts of time tech and know-how that should, finally, get the Timemaster Council to deal with him once and for all!

Thing is, getting to the Vanishing Point, where the Timemasters are, is problematic. The ship was damaged in the previous episode and of course Captain Hunter’s impatience and selfishness ends up costing Jax his health and safety. Jax is aging at an accelerated rate after being dosed to hell and gone with time radiation, and there really isn’t anything anyone can do. Jax is stuck in the med bay, subconsciously recalling when he left to go on this mission, he was roofied and never got to say goodbye to his mother, which obviously bothers him.

Inevitably, every last Legend just has to go and talk to Vandal Savage personally, engaging in all sorts of mental sword-fighting with what is supposed to be their ultimate enemy. The manner in which he greets Sarah in particular, asking if she had heard from her sister Laurel lately, only managed to severely piss us Arrow fans off and remind us, oh yeah, this guy’s a total villain.

Kendra, accompanied by a rather dour Ray, is attempting to jog future-Carter’s memory and having zero luck. Why Ray thought demanding the answer from Vandal Savage on how to fix Carter would work, I have no idea. For all that Ray is a scientist, inventor, and genius, he’s still an awk-nerd fanboy, rather clueless about relationships and their long-reaching issues. Savage attempts to explain to Ray that they’re the same, at least when it comes to Kendra, because Vandal loved her and was together with her a long long time ago; it was fated. And though Ray truly wants to help Kendra, finding her speaking that ancient love Egyptian love poem to Carter to thump his head, seems to really bother him, too.

Of course, now Snart and Rory want to get off this ride, taking the jump ship and its one single pre-programmed jump back to 2016. Sara, on the other hand, never runs from a fight, even one she didn’t start, and we’re treated to a lovely goodbye scene with Nyssa Al Ghul as Sara remembers her last cleanups before embarking on this mission. Silverfox Stein thinks he can talk Savage into helping our Legends and Jax in particular somehow, only to be reminded that he’s the Enemy, sure, but he’s also very clever. So, Grandpa Jax gets roofied ah-gain and sent off on the jump ship back to 2016 all on his lonesome. And a sad Stein remembers the few bittersweet moments with his beloved wife Clarissa before he left on this insane mission, too.

Really, Ray? Really? We’re going to engage in raging fisticuffs with an effectively immortal tyrant, and we wonder how the hell Savage manages to escape. I do love how, as Rory and Ray are heading off to recapture the villain, Rory drawls, “If we live through this, you bumbling idiot, I might just kill you.”

Stein and Sara have been tasked with getting the ship flying again, which, between the former Space Ranger-turned-engineer and the effective hand of the League of Assassins, now navigator, seems actually possible. Sara can make the tough calls in extreme situations, as Rip points out, and no one can argue with that. Love you forever, Sara Lance.

So Rory and Snart, Ray and Kendra are all fighting Savage and Carter all at the same time, while the Captain and his Engineer and Navigator steer the ship with all they’ve got! Rip has to run off to martyr himself, leaving Sara to actually pilot the Waverider, and hot damn if she doesn’t do an excellent job! Is there anything that can pop the lock on the brainwashing Savage has done to Carter? Turns out, seeing his beloved potentially fated Hawkgirl almost slain by the hand of Vandal Savage is enough to make Carter sprout wings like the most badass avian hybrid ever and swoop in for the kill! Or rather, the knockout.

So we’ve actually made it to the Vanishing Point, more or less intact. But there’s still time for one last epic betrayal, and the whole of time and space may pay the price! There is one more episode before the phenomenal season finale, so it’s entirely possible that there’s way more badass villainy to deal with than just Vandal Savage. And that’s how our beloved characters become truly Legends!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E13: Everything Is Better With Giant Robots

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Out of time and out of luck, the crew of the Waverider have no choice but to find Vandal Savage at the one place and time they know he’ll be; in London in 2166, three days before he murders Captain Hunter’s wife and child.

In this post-apocalyptic future, we see Vandal Savage already ruling what’s left of the world, after the Armageddon Virus wiped out billions of people. The team sneaks into a rally where Savage is speaking in front of his jack-booted troops. At the end, they all raise one arm to salute him, because if there’s a shorthand for evil, it’s Nazi imagery.

Among Savage’s followers is a mysterious woman who happens to be wearing a bracelet that used to belong to Kendra’s Egyptian self when she was first murdered by Savage. Any object that was present when Kendra died can be used to kill Savage, so it’s up to the team to steal the bracelet from the woman. It turns out, the woman is Cassandra Savage, Vandal Savage’s daughter. After a disastrous first attempt at attacking Vandal Savage after his rally, the team regroups and encounters the small band of people opposing Savage, a ragtag group of refugees and rebels.

Kendra tells the team she needs that bracelet, so Snart and Rory manage to steal it … by abducting its owner, Cassandra Savage! They are remarkably efficient in this, and Cassandra ends up a prisoner aboard the Waverider. Kendra finds out how weaponize a bracelet as they reach a showdown with Savage, perhaps maybe even the last one? On the Waverider, Snart slyly gets Cassandra to give up the evil side and join the good guys.

Meanhile, Ray fights one of Savage’s weapons, a giant robot. He himself turns into a giant, using his Atom tech with some techno-babble. It’s moments like that that make this show worth watching. We’re nearing the end, so keep watching!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E12: Hot Pilgrim Versus The World

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Spoilers ahead!

Remember the ethical conundrum of going back in time and killing baby Hitler? Well, it’s an ethical dilemma for good guys. But what if bad guys had the power to go back in time and kill their enemies as babies, wouldn’t they be doing that all the time? We explore that theme in the latest episode of Legends of Tomorrow.

Last episode, we were ominously introduced to The Pilgrim, a rather sexy-but-evil time-traveling assassin the Time Masters employ to eliminate troublesome people when they were defenseless children, because the Time Masters are jerks. She has a cool black coat, so I’m giving her points for style, even if she is a meanie. We first see her in the introduction, going back in time, presumably to baby-murder a man judged to be guilty of “time piracy in the first degree” (seriously, what IS that?) by the Time Masters. We don’t see her do it, but we do see him writhe in pain and disappear from reality in a puff in the future. Nasty.

Then, the Time Masters give her a hit list of our favorite heroes, except Kendra (who can reincarnate) and Captain Hunter (who is too important to the timestream to be removed from history). The first person who gets attacked is Rory, during a fire at his home when he was a child (that litle pyromaniac). Teen Rory is saved by Ray, and then is abducted onto the Waverider. Next on the list is Sara, who was also targeted as a teenager, but also saved, by her future self, and put on the Waverider. At that point, the team decides to be pro-active and abduct all of their selves as babies to ensure the Pilgrim never has a chance to target any of them. They are successful at this, and watching the Pilgrim fail over and over at killing makes her seem less badass than she was made out to be.

Still, the point of the episode wasn’t so much the confrontation with the Pilgrim; it’s the characters confronting people from their pasts (including their younger selves). Time travelers get a unique opportunity to make peace with their past demons, and to fix past regrets. For Jax, it was getting a chance to talk to a father he never knew, because he was killed in action right after Jax was born. For Rory, it was to tell his younger self that burning down the house was a dumb thing to do, but he was just a kid. And finally, putting all these kids in a safe place was Rip Hunter, whose younger self and foster mother we also meet. We then learn young Rip isn’t as helpless as we thought he was, and shines a new light on his character.

I expected more of a Terminator-like episode (the movie is even quoted by Ray), where our heroes have to stop a relentless and efficient time-traveling killer, but they only got the relentless part right: The Pilgrim isn’t at all efficient. The episode, however, wasn’t about her, it was about the main characters. We get to know them a bit more, and thus we love them a bit more.

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E11: Welcome to a Town Called Salvation

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Sharp-shootin’ spoilers a-comin’!

Ah, yes. Here we are hiding in the Old West, away from the Hunters the Time Masters sent after our Legends, and of course the town is called Salvation. Ray is immediately fan-boying the whole old west scene and Sarah wants to take a look around outside, so everyone gets ship-made, era-appropriate clothing and some pistols and away we go!

The entrance of our Legends in their various western-style getups with that slo-mo gangster walk and the heroic cowboy music into the town of Salvation is a hoot and a holler and looks fun and laughably ridiculous. Sarah and Rory immediately begin a drinking binge with alcohol that could take the paint off your walls, Stein surprisingly gets to gambling with Snart, and Kendra has an unexpected encounter in the saloon over (what else?) a disagreement on how to treat ladies, even saloon ladies. Next thing you know, Snart’s killed a bad guy and started a bar brawl. It’s the old west right? But things are almost immediately stopped by a smart figure in a very old uniform with a uniquely scarred face, the bounty hunter extraordinaire of the cowboy-inspired part of DC comics, Jonah Hex!

Of course, idiot Ray, with his penchant for modern history names like the highly original “John Wayne,” wants to save the town of Salvation from the tyranny of the Stillwater gang and insists the crew stay to do so. Never mind that Ray finds himself the new Sheriff and really has not a bit of experience with pistols,  he is good at planning and strategizing. So, when the Stillwater gang comes in for their first confrontation, they get an invitation to go packing from the carefully placed sharp-shooter Legends arranged about the town square!

Not a bit of this impresses Jonah Hex (Jonathon Schaech), however, who reminds our Legends that whenever they do decide to leave Salvation with the Stillwater gang matter unresolved, the same thing that happened to Calvert will happen here. What is Calvert, we ask? Gideon explains it was a town in Oklahoma a few years before their current time-location that was destroyed in the aftermath of a younger Rip Hunter and Jonah Hex feeling their oats and regrets. Yes, our Captain knew Jonah Hex from before; the show even implies that Hunter’s murdered son in the future, Jonas, is named in Hex’s honor.

Stein, meanwhile, is very taken with the kind woman with the dying son from the original bar brawl. He has the consumption, you see, and his mother wanted him to see the west and ride that stagecoach he always wanted to, before tuberculosis takes him down completely. Stein, with his large heart and science-y brain, absolutely refuses to sit by and let this happen, insisting on the Waverider synthesizing a cure as close to old western medicine as he can manage, and giving it to the boy.

Sarah and Kendra have gone off riding into the woods to go looking for the woman Kendra encountered at the saloon, who, of course, offers them a lead-lined greeting when they find her. Turns out, this older, hardened woman who lives bitterly alone is actually a former incarnation of Kendra herself, the aging Hawkgirl who endures in obscurity because in this time period, there isn’t any Carter to comfort her. She claims, in sorrow and regret, that Kendra will never love another person the way she loves Carter, that trying to love anyone else always ends in tears, that the two hawk folk are fated to be together forever and ever. Which, considering the original mission of our Legends bucking future fate and all, doesn’t go down well for Kendra.

So, the boys mistakenly went to go confront the Stillwater gang and end up with a bad guy in their med bay and down a teammate; Jax gets himself taken. Much arguing later, we’re going to have High Noon from Captain Hunter in town square and inevitably it’s not that simple – right about then is when the Hunters decide to show up, and main street of Salvation is suddenly filled with flying fire guys and laser beam future-pistol shots!

The showdown on main street is actually pretty cool. Hawkgirl is doing dive-bombs, Jax and Stein are fire-bombing their way up and down the street, Jonah Hex is firing the future pistol he borrowed from Captain Hunter, Ray’s in his A.T.O.M. suit doing damage, and the criminal twins and their assassin friend are shooting and stomping their way through the villains!

The Hunters just have to get in the last word before defeat, telling Rory that the Timemasters have sent the Pilgrim after our Legends, which can’t be good. Stein gets the most astonishing information when he goes to say goodbye to the young boy he saved from tuberculosis, who happens to not-so-coincidentally bear his father’s surname, Wells. Herbert George Wells, as a matter of fact. Absolutely adorkable. Sarah and Kendra are back from their walkabout, and it’s time to have a talk with Ray, sadly. And now it’s time for one final talk with everyone around the planning table, because the Timemasters have sent the Pilgrim, their deadliest assassin, into everyones previous timelines, to stop all our Legends from becoming thus long before they could do anything about it!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E10 : Teach Your Children Well

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

All the Spoilers!

When we last left our intrepid Legends, things had gotten all shook up! The real identity of Chronos has been revealed, Rory is back aboard the Waverider, and the next time jump is intended for the future!

The Kasnian Conglomerate is the main corporation in charge of things here in the future, where we’re now attempting to hunt down Vandal Savage at a stockholders meeting approximately five years before the destruction of Captain Hunter’s future world. After some adorable sleight of eye, our Legends get an earful of the untenable situation for those outside the Kasnian borders, living in squalor and misery as they are. Predictably, Vandal Savage, who is sitting at the stockholders’ table, is all in favor of a culling, which is exactly what it sounds like. He’s also a tutor to Per Degaton, son of his main opposition on the council, the kid Captain Hunter equates to the Adolf Hitler of his own time. This information leads to a very frank discussion around the planning table, bringing up one of the great philosophical questions of any generation: If you had a time machine, would you go back and kill Adolf Hitler? Or the LoT equivalent, which, in this case, means killing Per Degaton.

Everyone on the team has an opinion about this plan, ranging from outraged at infanticide to the “I volunteer as tribute already,” drawl of Snart. So, instead, our well-meaning heroes graduate from infanticide to child abduction, thinking this is somehow better, and figuring they’ll decide what to do with Little Lord Fauntleroy after they’ve nabbed him. The team’s actual method of kidnapping the mini-goose-stepper are fairly clever and fun.

Meanwhile, Ray and Stein and Jax have all gone to check out the robotics department of the place that made the autonomous robots based on Palmer’s A.T.O.M. design. What do they find? A very merry sci-fi alum, in the form of Jewel Staite as Doctor Rachel Turner, purportedly the great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Palmer himself. So yes, Ray gets to have his own internal mini-crisis, at the idea that his ghosted girlfriend back in 2016, who never got a name mind you, potentially had his child. And, you know, that his family would be responsible for the bots Savage uses in the future in his massive despotic takeover.

Elsewhere, Kendra is dealing with visions of her past lives, in particular the life with Carter that led to the birth of the Boardmans and their son. The flashback scenes are in sepia Oz-style tones, which is fine, I suppose, but I’d like to see some other lives, too. How about a Victorian Hawkgirl, or a Renaissance Hawkman? Well, the idea they seem to be trying to get across is that, in this particular life, Kendra will make her own choices, and right now, she chooses Ray. For a while, anyway.

Also in the midst of this funnery, people are visiting the clear cage Rory is being kept in, each speaking with him in their own way, from their own point of view. Sarah’s scene in particular, how she speaks so bluntly from a position of absolute calm and without any fear, about the bond between Rory and Snart, is a gorgeous little piece of writing. Only Sarah could somehow get Snart to finally go to his adopted brother, his partner, the heat to his cold, honestly the other part of his soul. So much for being a soulless League of Assassins killer; we heart you Sarah.

So, Captain Hunter is off with mini-Hitler in tow, to learn once again the simple lesson that we’re supposed to be a team, and you really shouldn’t be trying to do these time-changing moments alone. Because, hey, Savage and the future-time military police are headed for our Legends, to steal back Per Degaton at any cost! Time for lots of fighting, some harsh Palmer family truths, and a final exchange of he-who-could-become-Hitler and Sarah with the enemy!

None of this sits well with Captain Hunter, especially since the current-future timeline shows Per Degaton taking out his competition and Savage’s rise to sudden power. Ray and Kendra have come to an understanding and that’s fine, for now. The best part of the last segment is the fight between Rory and Snart, where the two of them finally hash it all out with their fists, after which a healthy serving of nasty truth is served up to the entire team, and a new mission of sorts is given: run.

Next episode, our Legends are headed to the Old West and the introduction of another epic DC character, Jonah Hex!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E9: It’s All Fun and Games till Someone Loses a Hand

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Spoilers ahead!

Chronos has attacked the Waverider, and it’s disappeared through time! Sarah, Kendra, and Ray arrive at the ship, but do not get to board it before it winks out of time after Chronos kidnaps Snart — curiously, just him. The Waverider spirals out of control in the time warp, as it was sabotaged by Chronos, and it’s going to be a bumpy ride through time before Captain Hunter can stabilize the ship and find their friends again.

Meanwhile, as Captain Hunter and the remaining crewmembers try and regain control of the ship, Sarah, Kendra and Ray wait in vain for the return of their comrades. Ray proposes that they only need to wait a few minutes for their friends to arrive, because they have a time machine and can land precisely when they left. When the Waverider doesn’t arrive, Sara is the first to suggest the crew is dead and they need to just live out the rest of their days in the ’50s. The trio rent an apartment in Hub City, and though Ray continues to try and contact the Waverider via homemade homing beacons, a frustrated Sara gives up and heads off to join the League of Assassins.

Two years later, Ray is a professor and Kendra is a librarian, and they’ve built a life together as a happy couple. Just as Ray was about to propose to Kendra after a romantic picnic, the Waverider shows up again to rescue them, homing in on Ray’s beacon. Kendra is estatic but Ray isn’t happy, as he is quite fond of his new life. However, there are more pressing issues at hand; they need to find Sara. Luckily, the Waverider computer has records of the names of every single member of the League of Assassins since the invention of writing. Gideon pulls up a list of names and dates written in Arabic. The computer finds a record of “Ta-er Al-Sahfer” which was Sara’s name in the League. As an aside, the entry indicated on the computer is just a random jumble of disconnected Arabic letters (real Arabic words are written by connecting the letters) and it doesn’t even remotely spell “Ta-er Al-Sahfer,” although the date 1958 is written correctly in Arabic numerals. Honestly, they couldn’t afford a language consultant?

So, now the team has to go get Sara back from the League of Assassins: Right in the secret base of Ra’s Al-Ghul! They set a course for Nanda Parbat and sneak into Ra’s Al-Ghul’s palace, only to find Sara totally devoted to the cause and getting her friends captured. The penalty for trespassing is execution, and Sara doesn’t seem to care at all. Captain Hunter says being stranded in a foreign time causes one’s mind to go astray, and it’s up to the team to get her to snap out of it before it all ends badly.

On the Waverider, Snart finds himself being confronted by Chronos, and a shocking revelation awaits him as he sits bound by handcuffs to a metal railing. Chronos tracks the rest of the team to Tibet, and when he leaves Snart on the ship to capture them, Snart frees himself by grabbing his nearby freeze gun, freezing his hand and actually shattering it to pieces! That’s brave, buddy, but couldn’t you have frozen the railing instead?

The final confrontation is one epic showdown in the lair of Ra’s Al-Ghul, and it’s our team versus ninjas versus Chronos, and by the end of the episode the show’s characters have a brand new dynamic. We’ll see where that goes in the following weeks. Stay tuned!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E8: Tyrants Make the Best Tuna Casserole

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

Spoilers ahead!

In a small town called Harmony Falls in 1958, four teenagers race their hot rods down a deserted forest road, as 1950s teens are wont to do, at least according to pop culture. After one of their cars crash, they happen to come across a mysterious glowing meteor; and Vandal Savage right beside it!

And, thus, we join our team of plucky heroes, now without Mick Rory, arriving in 1958. We aren’t shown Rory’s fate from the previous episode, we are meant to think Snart killed him, so the team is somewhat upset by this. However, their goal is finding Savage, whom their intel predicts is in the neighborhood. They put together an undercover team, consisting of a pretend-married couple of Ray and Kendra, who actually have a budding relationship going on.

Ray and Kendra rent a house in town, and their (fake) marriage front starts offending the bigoted small town residents who don’t like the idea of an interracial couple. As a cover, it’s pretty terrible; they draw attention to themselves and Savage would recognize Kendra the minute he saw her, so I’m not sure who thought that would be a good idea. And, by sheer coincidence, Savage lives just across the road from their new rented home, and even brings a housewarming gift of tuna casserole. Awkward. Does Savage recognize Kendra? He isn’t really letting on, and they continue their little charades.

Meanwhile, Jax, Stein, and Sara go about town to investigate the murders and disapperances of locals. Stein and Sara go undercover in a mental hospital as a doctor and a nurse, while Jax plays a new kid in town. Before long, in another totally unconvincing coincidence, they happen across one of the racing teens from the cold open. She is the girlfriend of the boy whose car crashed. Jax decides to flirt with her, a white girl, and raises more eyebrows in the small town.

Snart and Hunter also go undercover in town, dressed as government spooks, asking local law enforcement for the case files on local missing people. Their efforts all lead to Vandal Savage; he works at the mental hospital Stein and Sara had infiltrated, performing experiments on the inmates in a mysterious wing. The experiments turn out to be people who have been turned into bird monsters, using the power of the meteorite. The monsters are genuinely creepy, and this part of the episode plays out very well, thanks in part to this installment being directed by Joe Dante of Gremlins fame.

It all leads to yet another failed showdown with Savage in the end, since you can’t kill the big bad without ending the series. Throughout the episode, we are presented with ’50s small town America through the eyes of our heroes, who have 2016 sensibilities. There is a small subplot of Sara and one of the female nurses in the hospital falling for each other, and this was a no-no back in 1958. The episode often not-too-subtly addresses the sexism, racism, and homophobia of the era, providing a commentary on how far we’ve come (and yet, these problems still persist today).

Although they fail to kill Savage, our heroes did learn a thing or two about teamwork and about themselves. That cliffhanger at the end though, will half the team be stranded in 1958? We await next week’s episode to find out!

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‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E7: What the Hell Is a Time Pirate?

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Here we are, a-floatin’ through space, trying to figure out when to go after Vandal Savage next, but needing a serious software update to the shipboard A.I., Gideon, in order to manage that. Captain Hunter is torturing himself with holographic visions of his past, while our Legends are going stir crazy. Rory and Snart are still sniping at each other over the events of the previous episode, Ray and Kendra are tippy-toeing around romantic entanglement, and everyone else is just really bored. Then comes a distress call from Captain Baxter of the Timeship Acheron, and our Legends are off to save the day!

We have to remember that Professor Stein is the manchild nerd for the sci-fi geek in all of us, and really, the Waverider hasn’t really gone through space yet: Only timestreams. So, while Stein waxes poetic about the stars and his time as a Space Ranger when he was a wee boy, we’re treated to further memories of Rip Hunter’s time at the Timemasters academy, where he trains with a love interest and fellow student, Miranda Koburn. It’s so cute how Rip responds to being overshadowed in the training simulation by his female counterpart with something like, “You beat me – that’s so hot,” and a makeout session that sadly, gets them into trouble. Timemaster romance of any kind is rather harshly discouraged, and young Rip and his Lady are about to be the equivalent of court-martialed.

Meanwhile back in the really-real world, the boarding party that went to check out the Acheron has been overrun with — say it with me — space pirates! Or rather, as Captain Hunter calls them, Time Pirates, led by Captain Valler (Callum Keith Rennie). Many of us did wonder, as we were watching the episode, how does a pirate plunder time? Are there tachyons to be stolen? Well, anyway, our Legends are here in space being harried by Time Pirates, which inevitably opens the cargo bay doors for every single last classic Sci-fi reference you can think of! Star Wars, of course, Jax probably got the best line for that one; Ray as Captain Palmer is so much better as a Sulu reference rather than trying to Shatner his way through Star Trek; the green lighting on the Acheron makes us think of the excellent atmosphere in Ridley Scott’s original Alien; Stein talked about being a Space Ranger when he was a kid, DC just broke the fourth wall; there’s even a cry of “Great Scott!” and we all know what beloved time travel epic that’s from! The commands, “Imperiex,” and “Kanjar Ro” are also names of space-based DC comics villains, just FYI. And it has to be included, Captain Hunter running around fighting time pirates in that coat reminded me very much of Captain Jack Harkness, doing his epic thing in Torchwood!

Much emphasis is placed on the deteriorating relationship between Rory and Snart, especially when Rory decides he’s had enough and attempts to make a deal with the Time Pirates. Snart has a few beautiful moments with Sara, first while they play cards to alleviate boredom and she has some almost-sympathy for the dwindling brotherhood, and then later when they’re both freezing to death (because nature’s vacuum runs on irony) and they exchange what death is really like and how Mick and Leonard met. The assassin and the thief, we adore them both and the show seems to have them swimming towards true friendship, if not an actual romance. I’m voting for a romance, even if it’s brief, because just imagine the shockwave reverberations through all the Legends once it’s over!

Eventually — we knew it was coming — our Legends overcame the Time Pirates, repaired both the Acheron and the Waverider, cleared Captain Hunter’s name as far as the snooty Timemasters reputation fuckery goes, and now we have to deal with internal issues. Our resident firebug, Heatwave, has just gone too far into the darkness, and our Legends meet around the table to discuss what to do now. Snart says he will handle it, and even makes an actual go at it, but can he really take out the sundered other half of his soul? As much emphasis as the show placed on love no matter what, I kind of doubt it. The preview for next week’s episode shows a few of our Legends off chasing Vandal Savage in 1950s Oregon and Kendra in an actual poodle skirt, so let’s pray for visions of a greaser Heatwave, or at least a Rory on ice for now!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!

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