‘Legends of Tomorrow’ S1E7: What the Hell Is a Time Pirate?

by Agent Alicia Glass (a.k.a. Pandora the Punctuation Horror)

Here we are, a-floatin’ through space, trying to figure out when to go after Vandal Savage next, but needing a serious software update to the shipboard A.I., Gideon, in order to manage that. Captain Hunter is torturing himself with holographic visions of his past, while our Legends are going stir crazy. Rory and Snart are still sniping at each other over the events of the previous episode, Ray and Kendra are tippy-toeing around romantic entanglement, and everyone else is just really bored. Then comes a distress call from Captain Baxter of the Timeship Acheron, and our Legends are off to save the day!

We have to remember that Professor Stein is the manchild nerd for the sci-fi geek in all of us, and really, the Waverider hasn’t really gone through space yet: Only timestreams. So, while Stein waxes poetic about the stars and his time as a Space Ranger when he was a wee boy, we’re treated to further memories of Rip Hunter’s time at the Timemasters academy, where he trains with a love interest and fellow student, Miranda Koburn. It’s so cute how Rip responds to being overshadowed in the training simulation by his female counterpart with something like, “You beat me – that’s so hot,” and a makeout session that sadly, gets them into trouble. Timemaster romance of any kind is rather harshly discouraged, and young Rip and his Lady are about to be the equivalent of court-martialed.

Meanwhile back in the really-real world, the boarding party that went to check out the Acheron has been overrun with — say it with me — space pirates! Or rather, as Captain Hunter calls them, Time Pirates, led by Captain Valler (Callum Keith Rennie). Many of us did wonder, as we were watching the episode, how does a pirate plunder time? Are there tachyons to be stolen? Well, anyway, our Legends are here in space being harried by Time Pirates, which inevitably opens the cargo bay doors for every single last classic Sci-fi reference you can think of! Star Wars, of course, Jax probably got the best line for that one; Ray as Captain Palmer is so much better as a Sulu reference rather than trying to Shatner his way through Star Trek; the green lighting on the Acheron makes us think of the excellent atmosphere in Ridley Scott’s original Alien; Stein talked about being a Space Ranger when he was a kid, DC just broke the fourth wall; there’s even a cry of “Great Scott!” and we all know what beloved time travel epic that’s from! The commands, “Imperiex,” and “Kanjar Ro” are also names of space-based DC comics villains, just FYI. And it has to be included, Captain Hunter running around fighting time pirates in that coat reminded me very much of Captain Jack Harkness, doing his epic thing in Torchwood!

Much emphasis is placed on the deteriorating relationship between Rory and Snart, especially when Rory decides he’s had enough and attempts to make a deal with the Time Pirates. Snart has a few beautiful moments with Sara, first while they play cards to alleviate boredom and she has some almost-sympathy for the dwindling brotherhood, and then later when they’re both freezing to death (because nature’s vacuum runs on irony) and they exchange what death is really like and how Mick and Leonard met. The assassin and the thief, we adore them both and the show seems to have them swimming towards true friendship, if not an actual romance. I’m voting for a romance, even if it’s brief, because just imagine the shockwave reverberations through all the Legends once it’s over!

Eventually — we knew it was coming — our Legends overcame the Time Pirates, repaired both the Acheron and the Waverider, cleared Captain Hunter’s name as far as the snooty Timemasters reputation fuckery goes, and now we have to deal with internal issues. Our resident firebug, Heatwave, has just gone too far into the darkness, and our Legends meet around the table to discuss what to do now. Snart says he will handle it, and even makes an actual go at it, but can he really take out the sundered other half of his soul? As much emphasis as the show placed on love no matter what, I kind of doubt it. The preview for next week’s episode shows a few of our Legends off chasing Vandal Savage in 1950s Oregon and Kendra in an actual poodle skirt, so let’s pray for visions of a greaser Heatwave, or at least a Rory on ice for now!

Catch DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Thursdays on the CW at 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m., Central!


Happy ‘Back to the Future’ Day

by Agent Nur Hussein (a.k.a. The Robot Whisperer)

It’s Back to the Future Day! Today is the day Doc and Marty arrive to the year 2015, via their DeLorean time machine, and fans of the series are having a blast with events, homages and references to the beloved time travel movie series.

It’s not just the nerdy movie buffs, either! Back to the Future is a cultural touchstone of cinematic history; it’s both a nostalgic trip to the past and a hopeful look into the future as we saw it from the ’80s.

One of the things in that film that struck a chord with me is that how 2015 was depicted. It looked futuristic, yet utterly ordinary; it was neither a gleaming utopia full of impossibly large shiny spires, nor was it a post-apocalyptic wasteland (even in the alternate, rich-Biff future). It looked like a future that we gradually transitioned to.

Since Back to the Future 2 was such a popular movie, it’s not surprising that we are celebrating Back to the Future day all over the world, especially for the generation that grew up adoring the trilogy.

Here are just some of the cool things happening:

1. Various brands are cashing in on the day, from Oreo Cookies to Nescafe, but what we really want is that Pepsi Perfect bottle, which Pepsi released today in limited numbers as a collectable. It was in such demand that fans were left angry as the demanded exceeded supply by a whole lot. I guess they shouldn’t have asked us to “ask for more.”

2. USA Today is actually going to run the cover we saw in the movie tomorrow!

3. Universal released a mock trailer for Jaws 19. So, the future really does consist of endless unnecessary sequels of ’80s properties … in 3-D. You nailed that one, Zemeckis.

4. Those Nike self-tying shoes are allegedly available, but they have not been seen yet. Nike tweeted at Michael J. Fox yesterday, “see you tomorrow.”

5. If you’re in New York, Lyft is giving free rides in DeLoreans!

6. Google has a mock time travel vehicle project.

7. If you have an iPhone, tell Siri “Happy Back to the Future Day.” The responses are cute!

8. Neil deGrasse Tyson’s twitter feed today has a list of things in the movie that have come true, might be possible, or are not likely to come to pass.

9. The Chicago Cubs are doing pretty well this year! We don’t know if they’re going to win the World Series, but I’m hoping they do just to make the headlines from Back to the Future 2 come true!

10. Even The White House itself is inviting us to share what we think the future will look like 30 years from now. It’s also a jumping-off point for discussions with scientists on the possibiltiy of time travel, the future of women in STEM, and understanding the human brain.

Don’t forget to check whether there’s a Back to the Future Day event around you! In present day 2015, we may still need roads, but we certainly have enough ’80s nostalgia to keep us happy till Mattel makes mass-produced hoverboards someday!


Oracle of the Cosmic Order: A Practical Guide to Mayhem by the Stars 10/5-10/11

By Agent Amanda Grefski (a.k.a. Madame Helleveeg)

October 5-11 2015 Horoscope:

Because we’re nearing the end of Mercury’s retrograde, the miscommunications will undoubtedly get on your nerves that much more. So, how do you avoid going full-force Leatherface on annoying, but well meaning, fellow villains? Chocolate, bacon, coffee … anything that will calm your mind enough to allow you to ease up on your villi-cidal tendencies.

But, never fear! Near week’s end, our brains will feel like the Grinch’s heart this week, growing three sizes in capacity and capability. When the retrograde ends on Friday, you’ll be ready to seize the hearts of your enemies … I mean … the day. Seize the day! Just in time for the weekend!

Aries  (3/21 – 4/19):

Aries villain, love is in the air! Ou là là! Whether that means rekindling your existing relationship or finding a new love, you’re in for some romance this week. Is your romance stuck in 1985? You don’t need to be Marty McFly to bring your relationship back to the future … or, well, to 2015, which is now the present. Use your nefarious little mind can cook up something to special for your favorite villain partner this week and you won’t regret it!

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):

Taurus villain, although you may have a long fuse, your temper is pretty legendary. The metaphor “an axe to grind” is often considered in more concrete terms when it comes to you.

And because we’re nearing the end of Mercury’s retrograde, the miscommunications will undoubtedly get on your nerves that much more. So how do you avoid going full-force Leatherface on annoying but well meaning fellow villains? Chocolate, bacon, mochi … anything that will calm your mind enough to allow you to ease up on your villi-cidal tendencies.

Gemini (5/21 – 6/21):

Gemini villain, you’ve risen above the retrograde a little early. Which means your wit and golden tongue will rise to the top amongst the disillusioned and confused. Doctor Facilier, Mister Sinister, and Maleficent … they’ve got nothing on you this week. Just be careful not to bite off more than you can chew, because your unique charm can get you carried away. You may find yourself down a rabbit hole or a wormhole, chasing that impossible quest. And with that said, be circumspect of vials and cakes that say “eat me” and “drink me.” Your influence may shrink or grow in ways you didn’t expect.

Cancer (6/22 – 7/22):

Cancer villain, you may fancy yourself the war doctor this week, but don’t jump to conclusions too fast. Your fight may be an act in futility. And your grudges? Weeeell, they’re pretty infamous in the villain world. You can hang onto a grudge like a cybertronic dog with a radioactive bone. What’s more, you end up letting it eat you up inside like some flesh-eating, genetically engineered weaponized virus. And the worst part? You were the mad scientist who engineered it. So do yourself a favor and let it go.

 Leo (7/23 – 8/22):

Leo villain, choose your friends wisely this week. You may feel inordinately lonely, but remember to reserve your company for those who deserve it, rather than anyone who is there. You have two reasons to be wary; first, the tail end of the retrograde will jumble communication and secondly, someone may Edward Scissorhand you in the back.

Virgo (8/23 – 9/22):

Virgo villain, this week may have you feeing like a Stepford wife (or husband!). The repetitive motion of your work this week is enough to scramble your brain like a Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast. But don’t fear: Your difficult (and repetitive) work will pay off. You’ll be given the recognition your wicked work deserves as soon as the seal of the retrograde wears off.

Libra (9/23 – 10/22):

Libra villains, if you were born this week, you share a birthday with the great Neil deGrasse Tyson. And this week, like the mighty Tyson, you use scientific research, deductive reasoning, and good old-fashioned common sense to solve life’s puzzles. Your brain will feel like the Grinch’s heart this week, growing three sizes in capacity and capability. And amidst the end of the retrograde, it allows you to take opposing villains by surprise on your wits alone! No invisibility suit necessary.

Scorpio (10/23 – 11/21):

Take care of your own this week, Scorpio villain! You may feel some far-reaching longings, a bit of the Jack Skellington fever, if you will. But don’t get dragged away from Halloweentown only to create a disaster in a place where you don’t belong — oh, and getting their fearless leader kidnapped by Oogie Boogie didn’t help either. If you have a Sally in your life, heed her warning. It could mean the difference between a great week and a Christmastown catastrophe.

Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21):

Because communication is on the fritz, this is a good time to knuckle down and put in some hard hours, Sagittarius villain. You need Malcolm Merlin focus to stave off the effects of the receding retrograde, but it will be well worth it. The work you put in will pay off in the end, and who knows you may end up the next Ra’s Al Ghul.

Capricorn (12/22 – 1/19):

Capricorn villain, your crusty exterior is a little softened this week and you exhibit uncharacteristic humility. Don’t get me wrong: You’re not pompous, but, whether real or perceived, you give off an “I’m too busy for you peons” attitude, sometimes. This often serves you well in super villain hierarchies, but not this week. Every so often, the dungeon master shows his or her human side, for the benefit of the campaign, and this is your time. Others should take advantage of this rare but fortunate roll of the iconic many-sided dice, as well!

Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18):

Aquarius villain, this will be a stressful week, but you will persevere. Keep your ever-present sense of humor about you and you will survive the storm. Grab a cat and do your best Stavro Blofeld impression; who knows you may lure 007 into your web long enough to catch him. And anyhow, stroking your beard with an equally villainous cat on your lap is the ONLY way to concoct a megalomaniacal plan, doncha know!

Pisces (2/19 -3/20):

Pisces villain, the effects of the retrograde are beginning to stabilize! Your mischievous mind is clearing and you’re cooking up your plan for world domination, figuratively and literally … with extra barbeque sauce, homemade to perfection, of course. Your home life will stabilize in the wake of the retrograde as well. And, you put Remy to shame as you whip your enemies into flan and foie gras, which is no easy task! And remember, if anyone asks, the secret is in the sauce.






FilmQuest: Geekdom’s own Film Festival

by Agent Aly Runke (a.k.a. Deelja)

Sundance has been famous as the epicenter of all that is artistic and high-brow in cinema for decades now. It is the young filmmaker’s dream to be featured there, and people nation-wide will enjoy Sundance films. Well, now we nerds have our very own film festival to make or break those gifted in the particularly geeky side of cinema, in our beautiful little sub cultures of fantasy, sci-fi, horror, etc. This is the FilmQuest Festival, are you ready?

FilmQuest is happening from June 18-27, 2015. This is its second year and it already has quite the credentials behind it. FantasyCon is backing this film festival, giving it a huge boost as it jumps into the fray and hold its own in the convention and festival circuit we geeks parade through every summer. One particularly exciting feature is the U.S. premiere of Mythica: The Dark Spore. This is the second of five planned Mythica films. This spring, producers ran a Kickstarter for the indie film, to guarantee fans would get the best post-production value in the fantasy film.The movie’s trailer hints that the main character, Marek, will be exploring her dark side. With that, of course, comes the brilliance of magic, epic battle scenes, and dragons! It will be the movie to see at FilmQuest.

Of course, that isn’t the only fan-draw at this event. In honor of the thirtieth Anniversary of Back to the Future being celebrated in cinemas all over the nation, there will be a screening of the film at FilmQuest, as well. There will also be some celebrity faces among the festival attendees and film competitors. Certainly not the least of these are the film festival’s judges: Daemon Clarke (Supernatural, Dragonball Z), Cerina Vincent (Power Rangers, Return to House on Haunted Hill), Doug Jones (Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth), Daniel Logan (Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Johnny Lingo), Christina Robinson (Dexter), & Carlee Baker (Wicked Lake, Robot Chicken). Other famous faces to keep an eye out for Danielle Aufiero and Amber Horn, Hollywood casting directors.

In fact, Daemon Clarke will be hosting his own workshop at the festival. It is a very exclusive opportunity: Registration costs $150 and there are only 15 spots. However, the lucky few who do get inside will get to here Clarke speak on “Instructing in the Craft and Secrets of Hollywood Level Voice-Over Acting” on Saturday, June 20.

FilmQuest plans to start this fabulous festival out with a bang! A launch party is to be held for this fantastic festival as well. The launch party includes a red carpet before the screening of Mythica: The Dark Spore. The party will be held at the Sandy Station, there will be food and beverage for all attendees, aand music by fabulous DJs Mimi Knowles and the Cr3w. Your FilmQuest badge or individual ticket to the 9:00 p.m. screening of Mythica: The Dark Spore gets you into the launch party!

And, of course, exciting for all SVN readers is a workshop sponsored by the Super Villain Network: The first of many SVN-sponsored events and workshops at various conventions and festivals in the future. The workshop, called “SVN Presents: The DNA of Screenwriting,” features Crit Killen. Killen is known for his special effect work on Made Men and robotics work on A Life Less Ordinary, but he’s also known in Hollywood as a screenwriting genius. With more than 90 scripts to his name, Killen has a wealth of experience and advice to share with aspiring screenwriters! There is no additional cost for this workshop. VIP All Access badge holders are welcome and encouraged to attend, but come early: This one’s likely to fill up!

When it comes to the film competition itself, there is a quite a bit to digest. There are 1,252 submissions in total, and these submissions represent the hard work and imaginative minds of even more people. The lucky winners will get to take home one of the most insanely wonderful trophies ever made. The Cthulhu trophy was designed with special care for the winners of FilmQuest’s film competitions. The trophies weigh three pounds, are a foot tall, and are manufactured by the same company that manufactures the Emmy! Ryan Peterson, the trophy’s designer known for working on Men In Black, X-Men, and Benjamin Button delved deep into the cthulhu myths to get as accurate a representation in this trophy as possible.

Now here is your need to know for how to get your way into this one of kind film festival. Tickets to this amazing event are available through Jordan Commons Megaplex Theaters in Sandy, Utah. You can buy tickets online or at the box office, until they’re sold out. In all of the screenings there is reserved seating so be mindful when you grab your tickets. Individual screening tickets are just $8 each. There is a student discount with ID of $6 per film.

There are also the special event packages available. The first is a VIP pass garnering you access to all screenings at a discounted price for $180. The second package is the VIP ALL-ACCESS package including a ticket to each screening along with a swag bag, and all-access clearance to attend special events, parties, panels, and workshops for $250. Tickets are on sale now!

Hotels nearby to the theaters are the Hyatt House, Staybridge Suites, and Holiday Inn Express all in Sandy, Utah. We at SVN cannot wait to see you there! And while you are there get psyched for FantasyCon the only convention of its kind in Salt Lake City, Utah. This will be a con experience, LARPERS please come and live out a great weekend of magic and battle and mayhem!

SVN is a proud sponsor of FilmQuest 2015.